A butterfly's death
by RoseandThorns
Summary: A chance encounter between two old friends allows one the salvation he was looking for. But when it comes with the death of the other can it really be worth it? Even as they're saying their final goodbyes, Tony knows Dean is hiding the biggest secret from him. But Dean takes his secret life to the grave with him.


A/N: This is obviously a crossover between NCIS and Supernatural. It is set before the season three finale of Supernatural so Dean is nearing the end of his deal. I was mainly just intrigued by the pairing and could possibly do a few more if people like it.

...

A butterfly's death.

Tony Dinozzo.

The fading sunlight cast a warm orange glow over the playground and dotting mothers called their children to their sides. I watched young faces pout and voices beg for just 'five more minutes mum!' in vain. A pleasant breeze whistled through the trees and tug on my new silk tie. I turned my face into the caress and closed my eyes, a content smile on my lips. Years had passed since I had last set foot in this playground, sometimes it felt like an eon. Last time had been the fiery ending of a friendship that I had thought would always last. I barely had to struggle to remember the dirty kneed sixteen year olds we had been. Words were screamed by two young men that really hadn't understood the seriousness of what they were saying. By the time I had realised what I had done, he had packed up and followed the road in the opposite direction. And for a little while, I tried to find him because he always left a storm behind him. But soon my leads ran dry and I had to give up. Even NCIS resources couldn't help me after a while. I missed him though endlessly. I hoped he found what he was looking for.

The playground fell silent as the children were finally coaxed to leave and bundled into cars. A solitary swing creaked softly in the distance and a lonely dog barked. But some instinct made me open my eyes and look into the trees to my right and it was like stepping back in time. I recognised him instantly even after all the time that had passed. The short blonde hair, jade green eyes and the lithe body that had become muscle and strength. He even still had the same leather jacket but it fitted him better now. He stopped in surprise and the spark of recognition was instantaneous.

"Dean." I breathed.

My voice could have shattered the fragile spell between us. Dean had always been skittish; quick to mistrust and just as fast to walk away. He looked older, harder and there w as a secret grief in his eyes that made me hurt. Dean still held himself with confidence and pride; I didn't think anything could beat that out of him. But he was still trying to decide if he should stay or run and I started to look away. Then I heard it, barely whispered in a gravelly voice:

"Hello Tony."

After a second's hesitation Dean strode toward me with large purposeful steps. I slid down the bench ad he sat down heavily into the offered space. There was an awkward silence between us; the distance between two best friends that had been torn apart. I couldn't find the words I had wanted to say, I was so surprised he was here.

"What's with the suit?" Dean questioned so suddenly he startled me.

I looked at him; there was honest curiosity on his face and a need to understand.

"Oh, I'm a NCIS Agent now."

His face twisted and his hands fisted his jeans, jade eyes darted away. "Navy cops, huh? So is this conversation of the record?"

I wanted to sigh but I clamped down on the sound. I recognised the gestures and the stubborn refusal to look at me. Dean was in trouble again, disappointment fizzled through me and I glanced out over the fields.

"Yeah, Dean. I won't tell anyone." I promised.

"Damn it, Tony, don't do that. It's not...not bad...look I can't really explain it, okay? You wouldn't believe me if I did."

That was Dean a dark mysterious enigma that I really had no chance of understanding. His entire family confused me, his history was blank and he wasn't forthcoming with information. At the time I had cared but maybe now, I had just accepted it. Dean would never tell me. But something told me he was a Hero. A good guy fighting in the shadows.

"All right, D. But be careful, I really don't want to see you in the cells anytime soon."

Dean laughed quietly. "I don't think there's enough time left for that. There might be a bit of a mess."

"What does that mean?"

He wasn't quick enough to hide the haunted look in his eyes as he turned to face me again. Though he tried to conceal it, Dean had the most honest eyes of anyone I knew. To his friends, he was an open book but in that moment I wished he wasn't. In the depths I saw fear, horror and unshed tears, a nightmare he was suffering alone. I wanted to help him but knew my attempts would not be welcome. I hated that we had come to this. We used to be unstoppable.

"Don't worry about it. Tell me about you, what's been happening?"

"The usual. Saved a few hostages, solved some crimes and well...you know?"

"Not really, no. Tell me more."

"...Er..."

"Please Tony, this once just talk. About anything, I really don't mind just don't stop."

He frightened me, the raw desperation in his voice and the way his entire posture had just slumped. His face had paled drastically; I could see freckles on his nose and dusted across his cheeks. In the fading light, he looked gaunt and soul weary and I found myself spouting nonsense to take away the tiredness.

"My Boss is a Slave Driver! I swear to god, the man hates me. He spends his entire day head slapping me or glaring at me. He actually growls, sounds like a bear. Oh! And my partner swears she can kill a man a hundred different ways with a paperclip. I don't even think that's possible but I'm not going to test her. She doesn't understand euphemisms or certain phrases very well sometimes. You should have heard McGee trying to explain 'it's raining cats and dogs' to her. Hilarious."

A small, simple smile flickered onto Dean's chapped lips and almost subconsciously he leant against my shoulder. Dean had always been smaller than me but now pressed up against me, he almost felt fragile like a single hard shove could shatter him.

"I'm glad you were here, Dean. You wouldn't believe how long I spent looking for you. You're a hard man to find."

"Good. I have to be."

"I missed you."

There was a moment of silence between us and I stared down at the blonde head nestled against my arm.

"I missed you too." He murmured. "I'm sorry that we fought."

I shrugged my free shoulder. "Friends argue all the time. I'm sorry I let you leave without making up first."

"I had to go. I couldn't wait for you."

I finally gave into that nagging voice in the back of my mind and wrapped my arm around him. He tensed as I had expected but then melted against me and shuddered.

"Always have to follow the wind, huh? Don't you get tired of that?"

"Yeah. But there's nothing I can do about it."

I shifted until he was completely tucked against my side and sheltered from the sudden biting wind. The warmth had leaked out of the air around us and grey storm clouds rumbled in the distance.

"Why not? You could stay with me! Sam too."

"Sasquatch would love that...I wouldn't mind it...but I can't. I'm sorry."

I sighed and sent strands of his hair dancing. "Don't worry about it."

He moved in my grasp until he was standing in front of me and looking down into my eyes. A strange half smile flickered onto his face and I found myself smiling back. There was a strange ominous feeling in my gut that I was ruthlessly tramping down on.

"I never meant what I said back then, T. You know that, right?"

I nodded. "Of course. I don't even remember what the damn argument was about."

"Probably best you don't. It's late, Sam will be worried."

"Wait!" I cried and jumped to my feet. "Don't go! I've only just found you again."

Dean curled his hands over my shoulder and there was honest regret that shot across his features.

"I'm sorry Tony but I think this is it. We won't see each other again."

"W-What? Why?" I squeaked.

"I'm...I'm sick, Tony. Something from the depths of Hell itself. They only gave me a year and well...that year's over in three weeks."

"NO!" I clutched at him and he let me drag him against my chest. I wanted to deny it but the evidence was a shaking body in my arms and the acceptance I could feel in him. "You can't die."

"I'm so sorry."

Tears were stinging my eyes and a great heavy lump was settling in my heart. How could a bright light like Dean's be so close to being extinguished? It wasn't right. Dean moved and wrapped his arms around me and squeezed once tightly.

"I...I don't know what to say." I confessed.

Dean chuckled quietly. "You don't need to say anything. Thank you for forgiving me."

"Anytime."

The sun finally dipped behind the buildings and I let go of the younger man. Dean smiled and scrubbed at his eyes but couldn't hide the evidence of tears; I knew I looked just as bad.

"I'm okay with it. I've made my peace."

"You're a remarkable man, Dean Winchester. I'll miss you."

"Damn right you will. Goodbye Tony."

He didn't wait for me to say anything, in the time it took me to draw a breath he had disappeared back into the shadows of the trees.

...

_Tony,_

_By the time you get this I will have been gone for a few days. Please, don't be upset I meant what I said; I'm okay. You know me, I'm terrible with emotions and chick flicks but I just wanted to say one thing to you. You have always been my best friend and I regret that we didn't have more time. You said I was remarkable but I think you are much more remarkable than me. But let me offer one last piece of advice; if you're unhappy do something about it. It's not too late for you. Go out there and make it happen._

_Well, that's it. All my words of wisdom for you. Keep your head and you'll be fine. And if you have the time, give Sam a call. He still remembers you. Thank you for everything you did for me._

_Goodbye my friend, _

_Dean._

"Dinozzo! Dinozzo! TONY! Are we boring you?" Gibbs barked.

I crumpled the paper in my hands and a single tear slipped from my eye and smudged the ink. I couldn't even react when Gibbs approached me and span my chair around to face him.

"Tony?"

"He's gone."

"Who?"

"My best friend."

I whimpered and Gibbs folded a paternal arm around my back and subtly lifted his arm to shield my face from Ziva's curious gaze.

"I'm sorry." Gibbs mumbled.

The world had lost something bright and precious with the loose of Dean. A loving soul that could never be replaced. A dark shadow stretched out across the face of the planet and outside the window a tiny butterfly shuddered and crumpled motionless to the ground.

...


End file.
